You don't always know right away; sometimes its there for a while before it up and smacks you in the face and its so obvious you want to hit yourself for not noticing it before... ages before.

He'd been around a few months, we'd been hanging out, I'd been to Denver and hung out with his family a few times, we were friends, and that was all I was thinking, there was nothing else in my head about him - friends, and nothing more.
He'd stay over when I knew the nightmares were coming, he'd hold me all night long if I needed him to, and nothing ever happened, it was just Jon, being a good battle buddy. He listened when I needed so desperately to talk, gave advice when I asked for it, made me laugh when I didn't even think I could smile, and showed me the best time of my life on my twentieth birthday.

It was that night, October 9th after we got home from the strip club, we were laying on the couch watching a movie - I don't even remember what movie it was, but that seems so insignificant right now. I felt it, laying there in his arms, it hit me, and I was floored. How had I not seen it? This amazing guy, my best friend in the entire world, the only guy on the entire planet that I trust with anything, was everything I've been wanting since I was a kid. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to say, but I know he knew the seccond I looked into his face, and when I kissed him, I was sure, I knew.
Even when he gets on my nerves, when he irritates me, when he says he can't when I know he can, I still love him. He's all I think about and all I want, and there's not cloudiness when I think about a future with him, nothing in my way, and I don't want anyone else, ever. I couldn't ask for more; he's a battle buddy, a friend, and a lover all in one go, he listens, he makes me laugh, he holds me when I cry, and laughs at my mistakes along with me, and helps me fix them.
I'm so glad you found me, even if we did screw my car up on the way back from Denver that first time.

I love you, Jon.